Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Copywriting Hall of Fame or Shame, round two.

(click ad, via reddit)
Previously in this Frito-Lay series, an ad for Ruffles Molten Hot Wings implored you to "Punch your mouth in its face." Another line I've seen on a Doritos kiosk asked consumers to "Slap your tongue in its mouth." I also remember a taste buds execution, but can't remember the exact line. These, of course, could go on forever. Write some in the comments, if you want. Dick jokes encouraged.

25 Comments:

Blogger Kenny Vermeulen said...

Seeing the previous one, this example loses it's 'originality'. Cheap AD stuff as well. Not a big fan as a copywriter. Might've had another feeling if the entire ad were better executed.

10:42 AM  
Blogger The Grammar Cunt said...

If YOU want (to), not "if want".

10:47 AM  
Blogger copyranter said...

Some "vacation" you're having there GC.

10:51 AM  
Anonymous Brook said...

"punch your cock up the ass"

11:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

FACEFUCK YOUR MOUTH WITH FLAVOR.

I can have job now?

11:21 AM  
Blogger The Grammar Cunt said...

I am in the Bahamas, Copyranter.

My doctor recommended a Bahamavention (a vacation intervention) because I was being over-stressed and, most importantly, under-tanned. People used to call me Pasty, Powder, Talcum, Whiteout, and the Chalkasian, in addition to the Big Grammar Cunt, of course.

I am happy to say that I am having a nice tan now. Perhaps I should update my photo when I get back.

11:29 AM  
Blogger copyranter said...

Anon: YOU WIN (until further notice).

GC: I hear the pasty.

11:38 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Shit your poop's pee"

11:43 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

COCK slap your mouth with some hot spicy Cheetos.

11:51 AM  
Anonymous Chris Sanislo said...

- Go balls deep in your moouth's ass. Dry.

- ATM your tongue with a fistfuck of flavour.

12:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Give your butt hole a roundhouse to the teeth.
Smack your intestines in it's eyes.
Saw your dick off with your balls.

This garbage can be thought of as quickly as it's written.

12:02 PM  
Anonymous -1-T-M- said...

Britney Spears, of "Give me a sign, hit me baby one more time," and so named (Our Lady of Immaculate Cheetos) by Michael K at Dlisted, reportedly now is into sushi instead of her former favorite junk food.

Is this latest, desperate campaign, with the physically impossible and disturbing headline trying to win her back?

PS: @ The Grammar Cunt
If that is your actual photo and not stock, well then, you seem to be more of an adorable little pussy than cunt!

1:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. Wow. Wow.. What's with all the vulgarities on here?

Cock, ass, facefuck, fistfuck, dick, shit...

Are all these entries by grown ups?
You are coming across as stupid mooks.

Dick jocks are so passe. I don't know why they are being encouraged in the first place.

And "FACEFUCK YOUR MOUTH WITH FLAVOR" is just as retarded as the original headline. Not to mention that it makes 0 sense. The verb "facefuck" already implies that the mouth is being used. You don't say "I facefucked [someone] in the mouth". You don't facefuck people in the eyes or nose. So no, Anon, sadly you don't win. This comes from someone who knows better than CR.

And Chris Sanislo, I hope your prospective clients don't come across your "award winning" copy here.

1:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"grammar cunt" = ryan peck at fallon.

1:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

> Cock, ass, facefuck, fistfuck, dick, shit...

kids... pphtttt! don't know their language.

if i started posting with cuss words, this blog would get shut down by google.

I-)

2:15 PM  
Anonymous cath said...

Punch your nuts in the ballsack.

or

Teabag your dick with our salty tang.

2:40 PM  
Anonymous CopyJones said...

This ad just doesn't work. I mean sure, it might be funny to a group of thick-browed twentysomething stoners sitting around eating... wait a minute!

Though I personally think "Kick your tastebuds in the nuts"
works better, it's a little too "Ow My Balls" for my taste.

2:45 PM  
Anonymous cath said...

I shouldn't have been so sexist...

"Bang your lips into submission."
"Kick your pussy in the snatch."

Funny aside: The capcha for this post was "latrots." Which is probably what this product will give you. In honour of that:

"Kick your asshole's butt."

2:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

From Bryan Lee O'Malley's Scott Pilgrim series:
"Scott, if your life had a face I would punch it in the balls."

3:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anon@1:26 Pm,
And "FACEFUCK YOUR MOUTH WITH FLAVOR" is just as retarded as the original headline. Not to mention that it makes 0 sense. The verb "facefuck" already implies that the mouth is being used. You don't say "I facefucked [someone] in the mouth". You don't facefuck people in the eyes or nose. So no, Anon, sadly you don't win. This comes from someone who knows better than CR.

^This guy is either a brilliant satirist or a complete idiot. Regardless, this guy win.

3:37 PM  
Anonymous The Good Doctor said...

Tune-up your tummy's transvaginal mesh with your mouth.

3:50 PM  
Anonymous The Bad Doctor said...

Fancify your fecal plumage with your fingers.

4:03 PM  
Blogger The Grammar Cunt said...

@Anonymous said...

"grammar cunt" = ryan peck at fallon.


No, I am not Ryan Peck. I was only referring to Fallon's Bahamavention campaign, which I couldn't find on here. I assumed Mr. Ranter would know about it.

@1-T-M

Are you coming on to me? I giggled when I read your comment. Be careful what you say though. I am only 17!

By the way, my mom used to call me "sweet little kitten" when I was a kid. And yes, that's me in the picture.

5:30 PM  
Anonymous Tyler Stanson said...

Let me pound it home: buy Cheetos.

11:34 PM  
Anonymous McRibcage said...

Take a shit in your own mouth.

6:10 PM  

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