Gone are the days of simply selling the “benefits” of your
product or service. Gone are the days of decades-long advertising campaigns
hammering home the same successful selling message over and over. And (mostly)
gone are the days of CMOs buying summer homes with agency kickbacks on these
big media campaigns.
Say bye-bye, fuckers.
Today’s 18-34 year-old consumer demands not only quality
products from marketers, but transparency and most of all, responsibility.
But as a whole, companies have been slow aligning their brands
with causes. So let’s give them a kick in the ass.
Huggies (or Pampers or Luvs) is perfectly positioned to take
on The Future. Are you going to argue against cute-ass babies, global warming
deniers? Babies are Gen Next, and they’re going to shit bricks as they grow up
and find out the condition we’ve left their planet in.
The Mondelēz cookie brand couldn’t be better designed or positioned
to take on and help end racial tensions in the USA. And it’s already a horribly
derogatory racist term used by both Caucasians and African Americans
Everybody’s afraid to take on Donald Trump on Immigration.
The Bell needs to step up! Because let’s not forget their previous tagline:
Make A Run For The Border! They’re probably already involved in illegal
This is an easy one for the Merisant artificial sweetener;
it’s already a chick product.
Although the thought of chainsaws combined with domestic
, women are
purchase decision makers in most American households.
This is a frggin’ layup for the Shell Oil owned chain. Also they
should maybe encourage their hot mechanics to unbutton a couple more buttons on
their overalls. Wouldn’t hurt business.
I mean: their name means “war.” So just run with it man,
They own “white.” I say “Clorox,” a consumer is going to say
“white.” Again, with the current racial climate in America, they should use
their whiteness for good.
Go ahead and scoff, but if you know upper middle class
Liberals as well as I do, then you know how much white wealth guilt they have
running through them. A LOT. And they love
“Live Young” and the whole babies
is pure bullshit. They just need to come completely clean and I
guarantee you Evian would rocket to #1 bottled water brand within weeks.